Freelance Report: Pilot Breaks Eight-Hour Sagittarius A* Barrier

Buckyball champion Commander Alot has broken the eight-hour barrier for a trip from Sol to Sagittarius A* in his ship, Rhonda the Anaconda. Having failed in his first attempt to set a sub-eight hour record by just six seconds, Commander Alot ultimately succeeded in completing the 25,900 light year journey in 7 hours, 56 minutes and 41 seconds. He announced his success in characteristically matter-of-fact style at 2.00 pm on the 24th of January: “That’s. More. Like it.”

No stranger to the Sagittarius A* Buckyball challenge, Commander Alot has made the trip no fewer seven times. He has more or less dominated the number-one slot since first wresting it away from the original record holder, Commander Anuranium, in April 3301, when he completed the run in 11 hours and 46 minutes.

As tributes from fellow Buckyball pilots poured in, the ‘fastest pilot in the galaxy’ confirmed he would be taking a well-earned break from the cockpit, although he said he hoped to catch up with the Distant Worlds expedition later in the year.

Commander Alec Turner