A number of newsfeeds have reported that amateur explorer Commander Lewis has finally returned to human-inhabited space. After following the Distant Worlds Expedition into the void, the unfortunate traveller found himself alone in a damaged Asp Scout some 65,000 light years from civilisation.
A freak accident during the return trip resulted in the loss of most of Commander Lewis’s food supplies, leaving him with only tea and an assortment of biscuits for the six-month journey home. After being treated for malnutrition and diabetes, Commander Lewis spoke to the media about his ordeal:
“The journey was a nightmare. I kept getting lost, and was haunted by images of long-dead 21st century actors. If it wasn’t for my 1,000 friends on social media, I would have gone insane. I don’t think I’ll ever eat another biscuit.”